Thursday, November 5, 2020

Vignettes Vol 2

 2010 Audi S5:

We paid too much at the fucking auction. I knew it, T**d definitely knew it, and G** should’ve known it. It didn’t matter really, we needed it in our inventory. I really didn’t touch it much when it first arrived. G** kept taking it to do his whole Dario Franchitti cosplay on the way home, and I was still trying my best to break the S8 everyday. I got bored (and the S8’s voracious appetite for fuel was wearing my drug-addled pockets thin), and slipped into the next Audi to change my mind. 

When I bought my 335i I had an opportunity to buy one of these. While I don’t regret my decision they both have attributes that made them great. The Audi was so much more liveable but just slightly less fun. But that’s unimportant cause I drove the dogshit out of that car everywhere I could. I remember one Sunday I got myself together and decided to take the car on the town for a day of leisure. After a stop at Southpark to shop and be seen, I ran out of things to do. I ended up on Providence and decided to just keep driving as far out as I could. I cruised effortlessly through the suburbs, quickly through the less developed portions of Union County, and near silently into downtown Waxhaw where the road ended. 

I hadn’t touched a skateboard for a couple years at that point, but there is a vibrant little skatepark right behind an ice cream shop there. There was a group of older teenagers having an afternoon rip, I walked up and asked one of them if I could use his board for a minute. He didn’t hesitate and handed me the board, but first pointed at the Audi and asked me if it was fast. I shrugged and said something along the lines of “It’s as fast as it needs to be.” I unlocked the doors and sent him and his friends to the parking lot. Meanwhile, I took a nice ride around on the flat ground trying to avoid busting my ass. I hit one of the banks and nearly ripped my Ralph Lauren stretch chinos when I removed my feet from the board trying not to land head-first on the concrete. When I turned around I realized the kids were actually enthused about the S5. To me at the time it was a basic extension of my bullshit lifestyle. I’m not saying I was indifferent to the car, because I enjoyed every minute of driving it, it’s just hard for it to excite me when I was parking a 911 Turbo or a Continental GT next to it. Super expensive Volkswagen products aside, the teens saw something different that I hadn’t even thought of. One of them in a black Thrasher hoodie asked:

“How old are you?”


“What do you do?”

“I have a car dealership. Somehow.”

I saw him and his friends ride off back into the concrete park and suddenly figured it out: I’m young. I’m old enough to accept responsibility for my actions, but young enough to still have fun. I’m old enough to be looked up to, but young enough to dream. I’m old enough to pay rent, but young enough not to care. Whatever that really meant at the time I probably blew away with drugs, but it was something. The Audi felt the same way. Quick, but not aggressive. The V8 was grown and sexy, where a boosted six (at the time) was immature and horny. Me falling in love with it probably had some relation to a corny coming of age story for me. Either that or the car was just really good. You tell me. 

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